The Girls


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Barbie Crime Scene Photos


I don’t want to get offline, now, although I could use another little nap before I become a character on The Simpsons.  I’m listening to the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies and Tim Minchin (thanks for reminding me of him and getting me addicted, Metan) and I can’t tear myself away.  My left eye is quivery and watering from staring at this screen.  Ugh.  But while I wear myself out on YouTube, I thought I’d post these photos that I’ve been collecting lately.  I don’t own them.  They are a series of unrelated photographs posted on our local Facebook Garage Sale site.  Yes.  We have a year-round garage sale on Facebook, where people in and around my area can post the crap they no longer want in a desperate attempt to extricate a dollar or two from the rest of us.  I’ve actually gotten a significant amount of my baby gear from that site.

But this trend has cropped up, particularly among mothers of young girls who are members of the group, of posting pictures of Barbies that they have for sale.  And I may be a bit uptight but if I’m going to try to sell the plastic effigy of a woman whose body type is both expected of young girls and also unattainable – the plastic representation of all that’s wrong with American society, really – I think I’d probably brush her hair and dress her in some respectable outfit.  I mean, respectable for Barbie.  It would include a mini skirt and red Stilettos, of course, because Barbie doesn’t understand the concept of dressing like a normal person.  But in any case, I’d try to make her look as presentable as she could.

These women do not go to that extreme.  These women just waltz on in to their daughter’s play rooms and start snapping away, like CSI photographers, with no regard for the rules of decency or good taste.  And I have to admit, I fucking love these pictures.  I’m going to print them out and frame them.  I hope I’m not breaking any kind of copyright infringement, but I’m sure I’m not because these photos were intended to attract buyers of Barbies, not buyers of art.  These images are disturbing, and simultaneously, hilariously awesome.  Enjoy.